Rough Shot breakdown

Scene 1
The scene opens up with close-up shot of the reflection of a woman’s silhouette dancing (going
round and round) on the window of a dark room.
Camera slowly zooms out and fades to black screen.
We hear the fan sound only.

Scene 2
Location – Inside an apartment
Day light from the window
The Camera pans through pictures of a married couple, flower vases, and candles on a wooden
showcase. (We hear laughter, giggles and conversations between a young man and a woman.)
Cut to- A young woman standing on the window, from the back. (Mid shot).Next to the window
is a calendar showing the year 2007. (Still camera)
Cut to- The phone ringing. (Close up)
Cut to- The woman’s face with a growing smile. (Emotions change)
Cut back to the phone. The woman hurriedly picks up the phone.
Close up shot of her face smiling. Her husband is on the other side
Husband- hey honey! So sorry to have called you after so long. How are you my love?
Cut to a wide angle shot of the room while she is talking on the phone.
Wife- Good.
Husband - I know you are upset, but it’s confidential so I can’t tell you where. Well I called you
up to say that I have been promoted as the chief of the Navy operations. Okay! I will call you up
later... Country calling. And love! Don’t worry, I don’t know when but I will be home for sure.
Cut to - close up of her holding the phone. (Still camera) She keeps holding the phone and
slowly keeps the receiver back.
Slowly fades

Scene 3
Cut to a top shot of the woman going round and round looking and smiling at the camera. Slowly
increasing her pace…. Fade to black screen again. Tablas and other Indian string instruments
play as the back ground sound and the dim evening light fills the room.

Scene 4
In the bed room
She wakes up in the morning, only to realize her husband is not beside her. She spreads her
hands around on the other side of the bed and breaths harder. Slowly tears flow from her eyes.
The clock is beside her.(time lapse). Then the camera zooms out to bring in frame the same
scene. The woman is just staring at the ceiling, lying on the bed.
Repeat scene 3 again but this time the lighting is darker and the sound is louder than before.

Scene 5
On the dining table
Cut to- long shot of the woman putting two plates and pouring two glasses of wine.She has a
wide smile on her face. There is a small anniversary cake on the table. Close up shots of her
hands pouring the wine and to her face, slowly the smile transforms into a depressed look. Fades
to black screen.
Scene 3 is repeated again and this time the lighting is much darker and the sound is louder than
the previous times.

Scene 6
(Same shot as before) The woman is standing on the window, from the back. (Still camera)(Mid
shot).Next to the window is a calendar showing the year 2010.
Cut to a close up shot of the phone ringing and the woman’s hand come to pick up the receiver.
Cut to the back of the woman talking on the phone. It’s her mother on the other side.
Mother- hello Monica! How are you? Hope you are taking care of yourself.
The woman nods her head and acknowledges.
Mother-Today your daddy met JC again. You know he really likes you since your college days.
You should go out with him sometimes. See, he is a nice guy and you are a young beautiful
girl. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life waiting for someone who has not bothered
to inform you of his absence? I don’t know why you don’t want to believe that he might have
died. It’s high time the government should send a confirmation of his death. Then only will you
believe that there is no hope left for you.
Just then the door bell rings.
Cut to the woman face. She is angry and she has tears flowing from her eyes.


Comment
Hi Nilisha

Thanks for keeping to time. I think you need to work on the script more in light of the research you have done and the conversations that you’ve had with Jaishri… Consider what it may be like to experience the hopes, fears, anxieties and frustrations of not knowing where one’s loved ones are and how they are doing.

The other issue is the cultural setting – is it India, overseas, rural, urban? Is there a historical moment e.g. the Kargil war or the 72 war with Pakistan? In India the navy has not been as involved in active combat as the army and air force. These questions are worth considering. Also remember that the defense services no longer send letters about someone’s death. On the other hand many defense families are well supported through a network of fellow officers and their wives and usually sensitive news is brought by a fellow officer and his wife.



Also, I have a suggestion and it may or may not work so see how you feel: you could consider using one device repeatedly such as newspaper headlines about the naval mission with specific dates from 07- 10 or the ringing of the phone with different people on it- husband, mother, naval HQ…

Best wishes

Jyothsna